Are You There God? It's Me, Dawn

So I totally stole this from Jonathon over at The Theos Project.  But I know you guys are sometimes lazy bones and you don't click on the links, so I pasted it all here for you.  Y'all know the struggles I've been having with Christianity in America...I thought I was the only one who hadn't been going to church as often as I used to!

God, Who provides for all, will not desert us; especially being engaged, as we are, in His service.
- Don Quixote, Book 1, Part 11

In our recent discussion on worship music, some of the commentators seemed to have a common theme: if a person (me, in particular!) is not engaged in a worshipful experience, then that's a you problem; that is, it is your fault and you need to get your heart right and join in the worship.

This response reminded me of an offhand comment made by a Pastor friend of mine at a recent lunch. He was complaining about the fickleness of the younger generation. Specifically, he bemoaned the fact that church attendance for the young is so irregular. The other two members at the table began to grin, laugh, and look at me. Why did they look at me? Because I am on a church fast.

Yes, friends, I am fasting from going to church, and I have been for quite some time. I have not attended a service since last August. On a few occasions I have been in the church building for sundry reasons, but a service I have not attended.

Just as it is healthy to abstain from foods or sex or television for a period of time, so I am beginning to believe that stepping away from church for a time may have similar benefits to one's spiritual health. Indeed, I have come to believe that church attendance has been a negative influence on my life.

Is this another me problem? Am I fickle? Is my heart in the wrong place?

I don't think so. I think the problem is with church itself. To me there appear to be so many opportunities presenting themselves to the body of Christ in this generation, and all we seem to be concerned with is filling a damned building for an hour or two each Sunday morning!

Most Christians go to church as an obligation, and yes, friends, even at this point I still feel the burden of obligation that has been seared into my heart and soul. This past Sunday was Easter. How can I call myself a Christian if I'm not on church on Easter Sunday!??! Ah, but that's just obligation--that's just social pressure.

The stats tell the story: most young church kids are forced to go to church when they live with their parents and then they split the scene. They may possibly return later in life when they have kids and settle down. Is this their own fault? Fickleness?

Perhaps there are youth who are fickle. I'll grant that. But there are also good reasons that the young are leaving church. In fact, in some regards I applaud them! The young want to be intellectually and spiritually engaged. They are looking for something stimulating and real. But the church, as we all know, is not a place for the intellectually curious or those with spiritual hunger. It is no place for the young. It is a place for the old guys who are set in their ways. In this sense, then, a church fast is important, because too much time in church with church folks can make one intellectually and spiritually complacent. After all, in church we all have the right answers and we listen to a sermon from someone who more-or-less has it all together.

I think that the whole idea of preaching is misguided. Whatever the intentions behind it, the church (particularly the conservative evangelical types) has created a spiritual elitist class who can "preach the word." There is a direct implication here: some voices are worthy to be heard on Sunday morning while others are not. Usually the ones able to preach are the seminary trained white guys in their middle ages or older. In other words, the dudes who have it all figured out; those who look and sound like good Christians. And if we would only listen to their wise words, then we would be able to get our acts together too!

But did Jesus really want to establish this spiritual hierarchy?

The problem is even greater than this. The whole church notion is based on a stadium show. We come, we sit, we follow orders. We sing what we are supposed to sing and we listen to the spiritually enlightened tell us how to think, live, and feel. The show is carefully programed so that common themes are explored and everything is wrapped up in a nice box for us to take home. (Although most of us forget the substance of the show 5 minutes after the final "Amen": "Uh, what was that sermon about. It was a good one. Something about loving unconditionally...")

The whole Sunday show closely resembles the television sitcom: meaningful issues are opened up and within 30 minutes we have closure and perspective on that issue. 30 minutes??!?! Friends, life is far more complicated! Particularly the life of faith!

The young spiritually minded need a better place to dialog on meaningful issues. That is, if anyone cares anymore. Perhaps television and church has dulled our spiritual sensitivity to the point that we do not even know how to open up these issues anymore. I think this is the current state of American pop Christian culture: we don't even know where to begin when it comes to discussing meaningful issues in the church, and we sure as hell don't know how to hold meaningful dialog with those outside the church.

So, friends, I am on a church fast. I feel healthier and more spiritually engaged than I have in years. It is not a safe feeling. I struggle. But I'm glad to struggle. Christianity should not be about eliminating struggle. Christ called us to struggle. So, embrace the struggle. Sign up for a church fast.

I was with Mr. Fab last night and I took this personality test.  He'd been yapping about how he just knew he could predict my scores on this thing, so since I'm uber competitive...I told him he'd be in for a surprise.  And I took the test.

The categories were:  red = type A personality, big picture kinda person...lets the "little people" deal with the details; yellow = feel good folks, all about the feelings, goes with their gut; blue = life of the party, frequently late, people are drawn to them; green = organized, critical, sometimes loses sight of the big picture in dealing with the details.

He guessed I'd be, in descending order: green, yellow, red, blue.

I was: green, red, blue, yellow...with red and blue only separated by one point.  He was shocked.  I reminded him that I'd already predicted this reaction.

He was like, "but you're so sweet and nice and lovey and free with your feelings...how can yellow be last for you?"

My answer:  "feelings are for suckers."

He thought that was hilarious.  He's like, we should make shirts and bumper stickers with that on it (no stealing wise guys!  Even if I wouldn't sue you, he would!)

What do you think your color order would be?

So...of course I'm thankful and happy for Jesus' sacrifice on the cross.  (Happy Easter!!)

But...I'm also extraordinarily thankful for March Madness.

Hope you guys are enjoying the holiday and the games!

After supper, Jesus walked to a garden called Gethsemane for a time of prayer. His disciples followed Him to this secluded place.

After His prayer, the chief priests and captains of the temple and the elders arrived there, looking for Jesus. Judas, who had just eaten with Him, was leading the group. Judas approached Jesus, greeting Him with a kiss of betrayal.

After that, Jesus allowed himself to be tied up and brought into the high priest's house.

Early the next morning, the crowd led Jesus to the Roman governor, Pilate. And they began to accuse Him, saying, “We found this fellow corrupting our Jewish nation.”  But after questioning Jesus, Pilate told the chief priests, the rulers and the people; “He has done nothing worthy of death. I'll just order Him to be beaten and then release Him.”

But they called out all at once, saying, “Get rid of this man. Crucify Him. Crucify Him.”  Pilate, wanting to satisfy the people, had Jesus brutally whipped, and then turned Him over to be crucified.

The soldiers pushed a crown of thorns onto Jesus' head, and then put a purple robe on Him. Mocking Him, and beating Him with their fists.  Afterwards they took Jesus and led Him away, making Him carry a wooden cross up to a place called Calvary, also known as Golgotha or the place of a skull.

There in the same area, where many years before God had told Abraham to sacrifice his only beloved son Isaac, they nailed Jesus, God's only beloved son, to the cross.

As they did this, Jesus said, “Father, forgive them; they don't know what they are doing.”

Then a darkness came on the land which stayed for three more hours as the prophet's words were fulfilled: “The Lord laid the sins of us all on Him.”

Jesus then cried out with a loud voice, saying, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken me?” Jesus, knowing that everything was now accomplished, fulfilled scripture when He said, “I thirst.”

The soldiers ridiculed Jesus as they offered Him vinegar by saying, “If you are the king of the Jews, save yourself.”

Jesus tasted the vinegar, then called out, “It is finished. Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.” Then He bowed His head, and let His spirit go.

As He died, the sun darkened and the earth quaked, and the thick veil of the Temple ripped down the middle.

Teaching and coaching really is something else.  On some days, your students can make you feel like you're on top of the world...like they really get it.

Then other days, like today, they can make you want to turn your keys in to your boss.

So, I'm laying on the couch feeling sorry for myself...but extremely grateful for March Madness.  A little basketball will get me through.

Me and grumpiness are tussling right now and I'm afraid I might be losing this battle.

Sometimes God is amazing.  Let me rephrase that...He's always amazing.  Sometimes we recognize Him for what He is.

Today is one of those days for me.

I have enough money to pay my bills.  But also enough to fly and visit my family.  I can have a gym membership so that I don't go bonkers with work.  I can get in the car and drive to buy the organic foods that I like.  And when I want to buy bright yellow pants for Easter (ohmygodthey'resocute!!!), I do it.  When I hear a song that makes me shake my booty or stirs my soul, I buy it.  I thank God for providing for my physical needs and wants.

I also thank Him for the birds that I heard chirping this morning.  That may sound crazy to some of you, but it's been a while since I've heard that beautiful song.  The birds, unlike us crazy people, are smart enough to go where it's warm for the winter.  So this morning, when I stood outside and took in the amazing sights and sounds of a place going from winter to spring, I thanked Him.

I thank God for a family that loves me, no matter how nuts I get.  For a family that's relatively healthy physically and mentally.  I thank God for giving me a family that lets me be me.  I am thankful for them.

What are you thankful for?

What's the definition of awkward?

Could it be hearing slow jams blaring out of your brother's bedroom?

Or actually walking in on your brother while, ahem, he's busy?

Uggg.  *shivering & holding self in corner*

I'm writing this from Tejas!  It's exciting to be able to wear sandals again...yay!

Anyhoo, I'm at an outdoor mall and people watching.  You have no idea how many babies and children there are in the world until you come to a mall in the middle of day.  All I know is that there's a lot of lovin' goin' on if these kids are any indication.  Sheesh!

It's supposed to be eighty two degrees here today...quite a difference from the forty five that's happening up there in Wisconsin.

The people (read: me) want to know!  Where are you from?  What's the weather like there?  And what are you doing for fun to enjoy it?

Someone asked why I haven't been posting more stuff lately.  I suppose there are a couple of reasons.  Partly because I've been working like a field slave and partly because there's a fabulous man around who's been treating me fabulously.

But I haven't run out of things to yap about...I've been thinking about music lately.  This fall, there was a song called Soulja Boy Crank That which had a cool beat and hook and even had a dance that all of the younguns were doing.  Well, turns out this song is straight up nasty!  Don't believe me, go to urbandictionary.com and look up "superman" and "supersoaker".  If you go on YouTube, you'll see little kids doing the dance to the song.  After you look up the words, then see how you feel about how things are marketed to our children.

Then just the other day, I heard a song that said something like, let's make love in the club.  And no, the singer isn't talking about his girlfriend or wife (not that would make it any better!), but a chick that he's just met at the club.  I find it hard to believe that whatever physical interactions that would occur between a dude and a lady (who've just met) at a club could be described as "love".

What happened to music?  If you've got kids, be aware.