Are You There God? It's Me, Dawn

Can’t you just let me love him?   Why are you always hatin’?

Can’t you just let me believe in him…in the things that he says?  I’ve really had just about enough of your sarcasm.

Can’t you just let me talk to him?  So what if I believe the things he says are true?

Is it totally impossible that He created the world in seven days (well…six, ‘cause He took a breather)?  It’s just as possible as a giant rock creating something out of nothing.  Seriously…do you really expect a reasonable person to believe that?

Isn’t it possible that He loves me like He says He does?  Little ole me.  Dawn.  Don’t you have to open your mind to the possibility?

What if it’s really true, those things that are written in the Bible?  Then you’d be all Homer Simpson:  “d’oh!”.

When will you stop equating religious beliefs with lack of intelligence?  Just like you, I did my research and have come to my conclusion…these aren't my parents’ beliefs, but my very own.

What if He loves you?  Even if you don’t know enough to love Him yet.

I was talking to my brother this morning and he told me that he’s got a phone interview with a fabulous company.

My brother’s great at what he does and now that he’s over that unfortunate stint as an entrepreneur, things are looking up for him.

A lot of us are lucky to do what God (in His infinite wisdom) created us to do. Like my job, I know I’m good at it.  In fact... I love it. If you were to tell me I wasn’t, I’d smack you right in the mouth. Well…not really. But my eyes would glaze over while you were talking and I’d pretend to listen to you, nodding earnestly, while thinking of my next trip Target.

But I digress.

This job would be a perfect fit for my brother and I’m as excited as he is at the possibilities.

I asked him if he knew who he was interviewing with…he told me some name.

Me: “Did you Google-stalk him?”

Brother: “Did you say Google-stalk?”

M: “Yes, Google-stalk. Did you Google-stalk him?”

B: *silence*

M: “You know, check up on him, where he’s worked before and whatnot.”

B: *Oh. No…I guess I’d better do that.”

I tell ya…with my help (and the wonderful Mr. Google), my bro’s a shoe-in!

So I’m participating in a little idea theivery right now, because Monica is one smart chica. 

I want to know what you’re cooking at your house…and not just the name of it buddy.  I want a recipe…details people!

Show me yours and I’ll show you mine.

This recipe is for the world's yummiest stir-fry.

Equipment: wok

Ingredients: brown rice, chili sesame oil, chicken, veggies of choice (I usually use broccoli, shallots, green beans, orange bell peppers, jalepeno pepper), seasonings, soy sauce.

Cook & prep time: 1 hr (15 minutes if you cook the rice ahead of time)

1) boil rice. It's best stir fried when it's cold, you can make it a day ahead.
2) cut up chicken and season, set aside.
3) cut veggies, set aside.
4) heat approx 2 tbsp oil to just smoking in wok.
5) put in chicken, turn heat down to medium-high.
6) when chicken is white outside/pink inside, add veggies.
7) after 2-3 minutes of constant stirring, add rice.
8) another 2-3 minutes of stirring, add soy sauce to taste.

Guaranteed to be yummy and not get your kitchen all hot in the summertime!

Don’t forget…I want the recipe to what you’re whipping up in the kitchen these days.  I’m gonna try them out for sure.

I'm a storyteller by nature and I was telling the new guy (OMG he's so awesome!) about this bad date that I had back in the day...then I remembered I'd written about it back in September.

I was reading one of those quizzes that asks all sorts of questions and one of them was, "describe your worst date"...and the memories came in like a flood.

I was at a New Year's Eve party and looking mighty fabulous I might add. There were tons of people there and I met a guy and his wife who seemed pretty cool. After talking a while, the wife is like, "you should introduce her to Robert! I think they'd get along really well."

Robert was the husband's brother. The husband was smokin' hot. He was a soccer player with a truly fabulous body, so clearly I was down to meet someone with similar DNA as this dude. My only concern was height, but before the thought could be completely formed in my head, the wife says, "plus, Robert's the tall one." Perfect!

So anyhoo, the night winds down, I give the hubbie/wife my number to pass along to Robert. He calls the next day...great! I hate when the dude plays the how-long-should-I-wait-to-call game. We set up a date for the following weekend after a short, but pleasant convo.

When he came to pick me up, I was a little unnerved, because he was a bit overweight. Not wanting to be shallow, I pressed on.

When we spoke earlier in the week, Robert had told me he was a police officer. It came out during the date that he was actually on leave from the force. Why, you ask? Great question!

Robert was on leave from the police force, because he'd been diagnosed as a manic depressive.

Yes! After spending an entire evening with me, the hubby/wife figured I'd "get along really well" with a manic depressive who was so sick he was unable to work. Wonderful.

He told me the stuff about depression basically as soon as we got to the restaurant, so that's when I realized the error of my ways. But I soldiered on, because I'm a nice person. So I sat there smiling politely, laughing when appropriate, and pretending to be interested in a person in whom I had no interest or attraction.

I couldn't wait to get back into my house and close the door on this horrific date.

The craziest part was that the next day hubbie/wife called me and told me that Robert said that he'd had a terrific time and we should all go out on a double date.

Church shopping is no fun.  It sucketh actually.

The folks in this town are super nice, so I’ve gotten a million and twenty five invitations to go to various churches.  The bad part is when (and if) I don’t happen to dig the vibe at their church.

I know what’s coming at the end of the service.  “So what’d ya think?!”, they’ll ask with eager eyes.  And I’ll say the same thing to everyone…it was nice.

Because it probably was.  I like church and I can always find something nice in every service…but does that mean that I’ll be back?  Probably not.

And if I do come back, it’s because I need to go to church, not because I necessarily love it.  It’s like when you date a guy almost.  He’s nice, he treats you well, he’s good looking…but there’s something missing.  But you keep going out with him, because he’s nice, treats you well, and is good looking…and what’s wrong with that?

What’s wrong is that something is missing…and that’s how I feel about the churches I’ve seen so far.

Good enough worship, but not necessarily my style.  Friendly folks in the audience...but a little different than I’m used to.  A sermon I can learn from…even if it’s not the most engaging.  All good things. 

But…something’s missing.

Just like I want a special guy in my life…I want (no need!) a great church.  And just like my version of a great guy will be different than yours…my ideal church will more than likely be different.

I don’t need it to be perfect…just a fit.

And the search continues.

Okay.  I'm going to lay it out there for you.

I've admittedly not the best about relationships.  I seem to kill the good ones just as often as the bad ones.  It's an issue.

I met someone a little bit ago that is amazing.  That's pretty much all I can say about him...because that says everything about him.  We can talk about anything.  We can talk about nothing.  We can not talk.  He wants to take care of me...and I know that doesn' t sound very modern/independent/strong of me, but I love it.  He wants to fix stuff around my house, cook dinner for us, go with me when I buy things that vex me...like bikes (too many options!) and plungers (don't ask).

Thing is...I'm afraid of screwing it up.  My brain hurts from trying to think everything through.  We haven't had "the talk", so I'm floundering...and nervous.  Should I call?  Should I pick up everytime he calls?   How much is too much hanging out? In the words of Charlie Brown:  "aargh!".

He thinks I'm awesome, yada, yada, yada...but I've heard that all before.  The difference is that I want to continue to hear it from this guy for a while.

Any tips from those out there that don't suck at relationships?   What have you learned along the way that can enlighten this relationally challenged woman? 

I’ve been working on my patience lately.  Mostly because it’s a new job and I’m not trying to tick anyone off…yet.

So when I asked the office administrator for help with something on Monday and she couldn’t do it…then on Tuesday when she couldn’t do it, I set up a specific time.  You know, let’s meet on Wednesday at 11 am after your meeting with Bob.  Perfect.

Imagine my surprise when I walked up to her desk at 11 and she wasn’t there.  Then again at noon.  At one, she was meeting with Bob.  At two, she was at her desk and I reminded her that I needed to talk to her.  She told me that she’d just gotten out of the meeting with Bob.

She said it like, “remember we talked about this yesterday stupid…I’m meeting with Bob, then you.”

What she didn’t say was something along the lines of, “give me fifteen minutes and I’ll come to your office.”

So I went back to my office and threw my notepad down (loudly) and massaged my temples.

It’s a small office Dawn.  Remember you said you wanted a less structured atmosphere.  This is clearly how things are done here Dawn.

I managed to talk myself down off of the ledge and went to chat with the administrator…but not about work stuff.  And wouldn’t you know she “remembered” that she still needed to meet with me?

So this place is as much about relationship as it is about work.

Lesson learned.

When the movers came to load my stuff up, there were three worker bees and a foreman.  When the foreman had to leave for a bit, one of the worker bees started chatting me up.

After about five minutes of conversation, he asked me what I did for a living.  I told him and he said, "yeah, you sound smart."  I just smiled and said, "thanks", and then when I noticed the look on his face, I added..."I think."

He just kind of shrugged and was like, "yeah, it's alright...but you probably intimidate most men."

Wha?!

Does that make sense to anyone?  Here I was chatting with some strange man in my house and he proceeds tells me that intelligence is intimidating?!  I refuse.   What kind of backwards thinking is that?  Has anyone else heard anything like this?!

I’m thankful for God’s traveling mercy…I got from Houston to Wisconsin in two days and didn’t have any trouble, I know that I could’ve gotten a flat, had engine trouble, or any list of things.

I’m thankful that God has blessed me with the means to move…from the movers to the gas to the car, I know that everyone isn’t able.

I’m thankful for the people God put in my path…not only didn’t I run into anyone that was cranky or grumpy, everyone was super nice to me, one can’t always be sure of that when we travel.

I’m thankful that God kept me safe…traveling across the country as a single woman can be a daunting experience, I hate to think of all of the things that could have happened to me.

I’m thankful for…well, I’m just thankful.

Don’t you just hate the upgrader?

No…not the Beyonce song. 

It’s when you’re talking to someone, usually at a party, and instead of looking at you…they’re looking around to see if there’s someone better to talk to.

If there is…see ya!

If not…they’re stuck with you for a while.

But their eyes are always on the prowl for that social upgrade.