Are You There God? It's Me, Dawn

I got a bug in my butt about needing to open up in relationships.

So I did it.

Now I'm nervous.

My heart actually hurts...I wonder if I'm having a heart attack.

My hands are shaking. 

I'm pretty sure I'm going to puke. 

I never thought I'd write a post with both the words "butt" and "puke" in them.  

Never say never.

I wrote this in July, when Barbaro initially got hurt and since he's back in the news again, I figured I'd re-post.

Yes, I know the horse is dead and I'm supposed to be all broken up, but...

Anyhoo, here's the original post:

So I smell awesome right now!

I'm not bragging...just stating a fact.

Let me explain.

I went to the grocery store this morning, which isn't unusual.  I go to the grocery store every morning.  In fact, I sometimes go after work too.  But I've decided that I need to start streamlining this process...there's really no need to go to the grocery store as much as I do.

Being the proactive person that I am (or at least that I'm trying to be), I remembered that I needed laundry detergent.  Typically, I would buy the soap right  before doing laundry, but I'm trying to think ahead, remember?   So I grab a container of liquid soap and proceed to go get something for lunch.

It generally takes me a while to decide which frozen meal I'm going to get even though I look at the exact same choices everyday.  So I'm pacing back and forth, checking out my options.

Then I bent down to grab my food and that's when I noticed.  My entire right leg was coated in laundry soap.

Oh yeah, my right shoe too.

There was a hole in the soap bottle and since I'd tucked it underneath my arm, I proceeded to squeeze half the bottle all over myself. 

So...I smell really awesome right now.

Apparently thinking ahead doesn't work for me, because I have to go back to the grocery store later today and get some laundry soap. 

So people are calling Tyra Banks fat. That’s bad news for most of us ladies.

I remember reading Cosmo in college…they used to put the weight and height of the cover models in their bio. These women would be 5’9” to 6’0” tall and like 115 pounds.

Now I'm tall and hung around with tall women because I played volleyball. We were all in great shape by most standards…and I can say without a doubt that we weren’t anywhere close to 115 pounds.

So what are we teaching young girls when we measure ourselves based on our weight?

As someone who’s around little girls, pre-teens, and teenagers, I can tell you we’re teaching them to think that they’re fat. I have fourth grade girls who call each other fat. It’s ridiculous.

A phenomenon at my school is the Incredible Shrinking Mom. She is characterized by dropping her children off in carpool in her workout clothes, she has a personal trainer, she eats minimally, and she’s skinnier than her pre-teen daughter. I always wonder what that does to a young girl when her mom is a walking skeleton at the same time that her body is betraying her through puberty.

I don’t really know what we can do about it, but the burden of other people’s opinions is too much for little kids to bear.

Something’s gotta give.

You’d think that since I make my living as a teacher and coach that I’d be very well-spoken and always have the right thing to say.  But I’m here to tell you that that is just not the case.

There are four people that emerge from inside of me that just drive me crazy.

The mumbler:  it’s when I get to speaking so fast, that I mush my words together and I’m really the only one who can understand what I’m saying.  That poses a problem since the whole idea of talking is to communicate with others.

Stutter McStutter:  there’s nothing worse than standing in front of a group of people and getting stuck on a word.  Actually there is something worse…the look on their faces as I struggle to get that word out.  *sigh*  The only thing that may be worse than that look is the look of relief they get when I finally spit it out.  I like to think this happens because my brain is moving faster than my tongue…but I’m not so sure that’s the case.

D’oh!:  despite these speaking troubles, I’m a chatty person.  That chattiness typically gets me in trouble and has me slapping my forehead thinking, “why?!  Why must you talk so much Dawn?!!”  This usually happens after I've said something that I think is funny...but no one else does.  I’m concerned that the filter between my brain and my mouth is broken…I’m pretty sure I’m not supposed to yap about everything that pops into my head.

Forgetful:  this happens to me all the time, it’s actually pretty embarrassing actually.  I forget the most basic words at the most inconvenient times.  Like in a timeout during a volleyball game, I’ll be like, “we really need to work on getting the uh…the uh…”  My high school French teacher told us right before we went over there that if we ever forgot a word, not to stress over it, just describe it.  So I use that same technique.  “We really need to work on getting the uh…the uh…what’s the white, round thing that we’re playing with right now?”  *hands forming the shape of a ball and pointing out to the court*  My team is like, “ummm…a volleyball?”  “Yes!  Volleyball!”  *feeling proud of myself that I’ve figured it out*

Hmmm…maybe I should pick a profession that doesn’t require me to talk so much.

Like writer David Sedaris said…me talk pretty one day.

Colts or Bears?

(I'm going with the Colts, by the way.)

I guess I wasn't sure if or when it would happen...and who would be courageous enough to actually do it.  

I'm not sure either of them will be successful, but to have a woman and a Black man running for president of this country is pretty amazing.

Regardless of whether we think Hillary or Barack will be good at the job, actually have a chance of being elected to the job, or if we doubt whether they'll make it past putting their hand on the Bible should they be elected (that's another story altogether!)...it's a great time in this country. 

If we think about the fact that women just got the right to vote in the 1920's and that Blacks were still trying to gain the right to go to school with other folks a short fifty years ago...this is all pretty amazing. 

I think it's easy for us to talk about how much the country sucks, our leadership sucks, why can't we be like this or that country...but look at what we're doing here! I get excited thinking about the impact either of these two could have on our country and the way we operate here and with other countries.

History's happening right before our eyes. 

1. What’s  the most fun work you’ve ever done, and why? (two sentences max)

Coaching volleyball in college has to have been my most fun job, because the skill level is high, but I could still impart knowledge. 

2. Name one thing you did in the past that you no longer do but wish you did? (one sentence max)

Go to school...those were the days!  No responsibilities, but lots o' fun.

3. Name one thing you’ve always wanted to do but keep putting it off? (one sentence max)

Get my master's degree.  I've started it, but my motivation level is pretty low for finishing.

4. What two things would you most like to learn or be better at, and why? (two sentences max)

Saying "no" firmly...I'm the queen of the wishy washy no.  And spending money...I'm a bit of a tightwad. 

5. If you could take a class/workshop/apprentice from anyone in the world living or dead, who would it be and what would you hope to learn? (two more sentences, max)

Condoleeza Rice...she rocks and I'm pretty sure she has no trouble uttering the word "no"...and probably in many different languages.

6. What three words might your best friends or family use to describe you?

Fit (like, physically), pollyanna (this has been used around me a lot these days), serious

7. Now list two more words you wish described you…

Fun and interesting

8. What are your top three passions? (can be current or past, work, hobbies, or causes– three sentences max)

sports and its impact on youth, Christ and his impact on the world, living healthily

9. Write–and answer–one more question that YOU would ask someone (with answer in three sentences max)

How old are you?

Nosy!  I'm *cough, cough* 31 

My turn. I tag:

Justrun and Jonathan

Okay, so why didn't I know of this Amos Lee person?

Well, because you didn't tell me, that's why?

I'm sitting here watching American Idol and a guy busts out with this amazingly soulful song by this cat and I had no idea...none.  Purely bluesy, folksy goodness.

It's shameful really.  I mean, I'm supposed to be a music lover.

Anyhoo, I went to listen to clips on iTunes and he's absolutely fabulous. 

Just so we're clear...I blame you all for not letting me know about this guy.  

Last Thursday: local meterologists predict massive ice storm

Friday: they started tracking this "weather system" as it passed through Oklahoma...showing their horrible weather and all of the accidents as a result of it. They sternly warned, "this system IS coming for us, get prepared!"

Saturday: again with the stern voice: "this system will definitely hit us on Sunday night, the roads will be slick...only go outside if you have to!!"

Sunday: says the sterned voiced meterologist: "this system will definitely hit on Monday night!! Bring your pets inside! Cover your pipes! Hide the old people and little kids...there will be ICE!!!!!"

Monday: "we're totally positive that this ice storm will hit on Tuesday!! I know that we said it was going to hit on Sunday and then it didn't. And I know we said that it would hit on Monday and it didn't...but this is a slow moving storm."

Tuesday: "looks like we've gotten lucky on this one folks...but we're not out of the woods yet!! There is ice about 150 miles away from where you live, so we didn't hype up this storm for nothing!! Cold!! Ice!!! The roads have a two percent chance of being slick!!!! Oh my God, there could be ICE!!!"

Note to readers: there is no ice. *sigh*